However my most random experiences with the dating world usually come when least expected, and so it was on a cold, rainy night last week that saw the bestie and I attend a new bar opening launch party.
As it was a school night we had come straight from work so were not wearing our usual going-out outfits. In we walk to a bar packed with hipsters, surfies, and tradies all clothed head to toe in beanies, flannies, boots and tight jeans.
It was decided upon arrival that we would need a stiff drink to blend in with the crowd so off we popped to the bar only to run into a handsome, tanned surfie god who immediately caught my eye. So as we ordered some form of cocktail that mostly tasted like a blended banana (yuck) surfie and I made eyes and exchanged smiles.
Quietly high-fiving myself, bestie and I pretended not to notice as he made his way closer to where we were standing. During his saunter over, a blonde who had clearly had too many blended banana's stopped him in his tracks and proceeded to launch herself all over him much to the bar's amusement.
Poor surfy was having a tricky time getting away and caught my eye to help, however as it was quite fun, bestie and I sat back and enjoyed the show. He finally makes his way over and we have a laugh about the whole situation.
Well dear readers, if this wasn't a convo that could have been retold at our wedding, I don't know what could have topped it. We bounced off each other with the witty one-liners, joked that we both came from the same town and genuinely bonded. (Hurrah!) So we exchanged numbers and made our way back to our separate friends agreeing that we would go on a date.
The bestie and I agreed that he was a top bloke and stayed for an extra drink. Well... wasn't that a mistake!!
Apparently mr surfie god was enjoying the fact that there was a free bar tab and for the rest of the night decided to make the most of it. By this stage we had joined groups and everyone was getting along well, until one of his friends shouted "hey, show Jana your party trick". From there he then proceeded to TAKE OUT his front teeth (or should I say dentures) to show me a full smile minus TEETH!
I would love to say that this is where it ended, but oh no, the boy had more surprises in store. He then proceeded to tell me that he could see us getting married, he wanted two children (a boy and a girl), and then flashed me his "parts" to prove that he was "all man" as we made a quick exit for a taxi.
Where did the witty, charming, full-teethed, man-of-my-dreams go, I pondered??
Counting myself lucky on a quick escape and feeling confident that he would wake up in the morning, realise how drunk he got and be too embarrassed to still follow-up on that date. I went home feeling slightly deflated but relieved.
But in keeping with tradition, Mr Surfie did indeed follow up with a text two days later asking if I would like to accompany him to dinner. I politely declined, and was the super-lucky-recipient of the following reply..
Wow what a man! Oh I should be so lucky!!
Sadly I would like to say that this was the only time something like this has happened to me, but no there are plenty more stories like that..
There's the boy who took me to a gorgeous restaurant, proceeded to tell me how much money he earned (which apparently was a lot) and then got his calculator out when the bill came to work out exactly how much each of us owed, going halves was not an option as I had ordered an extra glass of wine (cringe!!) or the boy who text me a picture of his abs ahead of a date with the headline "We Have A Situation".. anyone who has seen an episode of Jersey shore will understand that quote (double cringe).
I'm sure we girls do just as many shock-worthy dating mistakes, however is it too much to ask that these nice little surprises be kept a secret until you've already made us fall head-over-heels for you??
Seriously, you would only have to act normal for like, a month, tops!!
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